Even big guys get bullied

Bullies suck.

It’s not cute, funny or a joke to make someone’s life as miserable as possible. Bullying is unacceptable, period.

And yet, we see it every day. EVERYWHERE – school, work, even in the so-called “safe” confines of our own homes.

I was bullied for years by my so-called peers in school until I finally put a stop to it with my fists. They let me be, for the most part, afterward. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right. I haven’t used my fists since.

Even worse, my biological father never missed an opportunity when it came to making me feel worthless, like I didn’t matter, like I was nothing. My own father. He made me regret ever being born with the things he said and did. No matter how many years have passed, I’ve never forgotten. Thankfully, though, the man I later adopted as my dad intervened, stood up for me, protected me as best he could. Not everyone is so lucky.

And just because someone bullies you doesn’t make it OK for you to turn around and do it to someone else. There is NO excuse for it. People know right from wrong at an early age and any excuse to cry otherwise is blatant bullshit.

In this fucked up “politically correct” world of ours, people are more worried about rationalizing, exonerating, even absolving the guilty parties rather than outright punishing them for their cruelty. Sure, there are lots of reasons why people act the way they do, but it doesn’t give them a green light to torment others to the point that they just want to hide, move, die, ANYTHING but have to face the people who thrive on their constant misery. Too many people HAVE died because of it.

We need to collectively take a stand, put our feet down and say NO MORE! Enough is enough! A slap on the wrist simply isn’t good enough anymore, I don’t care how young or old the perpetrators. It’s WRONG!

No one who really and truly cares about their fellow man – who possesses any humanity whatsoever – ever would humiliate, hurt or torment you. Not your family, friends, schoolmates, co-workers, teammates – anyone.

It even happens in the sports world, probably more than the rest of us ever will know. Sororities and fraternities do it, too. They call it hazing, a rite of passage, locker-room culture.


Boys will be boys, my ass.

I don’t want to hear about how it signifies unification or solidarity or a sense of community. That’s a load of crap. It’s INHUMANE. Anyone who talks to you like you are garbage, calls you unthinkable things, publicly embarrasses you, threatens you or abuses you in ANY way doesn’t give two shits about YOU. End of story.

The latest story to make headlines involves Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito and the emotional distress he is purported to have caused teammate and fellow offensive lineman Jonathan Martin, a second-year tackle in the National Football League.

It has taken an even more disturbing turn because it not only alleges fear of violence in the workplace, but racial slurs and at least one death threat. The threatening communications directed at Martin and his family reportedly were sent via text messages and voice mails from Incognito.

This piece-of-shit excuse of a human being apparently, and this is the condensed version from a transcript of a voicemail sent in April, called Martin – who is bi-racial – the N-word, told him he was going to – and this is putting it as delicately as possible – defecate in his mouth, slap him and his mother, and kill him.

All of it makes me sick, sad, outraged, enraged, but to tell someone you’re going to kill them is just, well, EVIL. What the hell is the matter with Incognito?! Do you want HIM to be your teammate, friend, brother, son, husband, father – ANYTHING?! The answer is a decisive HELL NO!!!

Sources also said Incognito’s treatment of Martin has gone on for quite some time, that the aforementioned terminology and racist remarks were not isolated. There still were other alleged derogatory texts pertaining to female body parts and sexuality. Big surprise there. And yes, I’m being sarcastic. We’ll likely never know all the horrific details of what went on dating back to Martin’s rookie year, but, unfortunately for him, he’ll never be able to forget.

I have no doubt whatsoever that these claims are true. You couldn’t convince me otherwise. Not that you couldn’t already tell by my reaction. And anyone associated with that team – players, coaches and the like – who even tries to plead ignorance about Incognito’s ongoing bullying of Martin, and who knows who else, is lying. In fact, I’ll call bullshit right now.

Martin abruptly left the team more than a week ago to seek professional help because of the emotional distress allegedly – and I really hate using that word, but I will just in case I need to protect MYSELF – at the hands of Incognito, a nine-year veteran.

Come to find out Incognito – and I find so much IRONY in that name because we all can see him for who and what he really is – has a history of being one of the dirtiest players in the NFL, and got the boot from two teams (Nebraska and Oregon) dating back to his college days for repeatedly violating rules. He also was released from the St. Louis Rams mere days after twice getting flagged for personal fouls and arguing with his coach about them. What a stand-up guy.

The Dolphins suspended Incognito indefinitely for his actions. I believe the actual wording was conduct detrimental to the team. How about calling it what it REALLY is, what we, in all likelihood, know to be true? Bullying.

Martin never will be the same again. And do you think Incognito cares? He stated in the program sold at the Dolphins’ game on Halloween night that Martin was the easiest teammate of his to scare. The idiot also proudly posted a sign on his locker stating that he hates taxes and rookies. Why don’t you tell us how you REALLY feel, you jackass?!

The Dolphins and NFL are investigating the allegations against Incognito, with the NFL Players Association also planning to delve into the problem. But I’m not going to hold my breath. No one wants to rat out anyone on the team, yet it is my hope that one of them will do the right thing and tell the truth no one wants to admit: Even big guys get bullied.

I certainly hope Martin receives the counseling he needs and that he returns to the Dolphins, or even another NFL team, to play. He EARNED that right when he made the team as a rookie.

In the same breath, I hope Incognito’s playing days are done. He’s blown all the chances he’s been given for reasons I cannot even begin to fathom. He’ll never change, but at least maybe, hopefully, NOW he’ll realize he can’t get away with it anymore.

And I hope his punishment fits his crimes.


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